Your day, your way: Redefining the modern wedding

A new era of weddings has dawned, one for the new romantics. Forget the rulebook, forget the expectations, forget the “shoulds”. Today’s modern couples are rewriting the script, crafting weddings as unique and individual as their love stories, and redefining the many ways they say: “I do.” 

This isn’t just about ditching the white dress (although that’s happening too); it’s about infusing every element of your big day with personality, meaning and a healthy dose of “this is so us”.

Why this shift? What do modern weddings really look like? And how is the wedding industry responding? In this article, we’ll explore why and how couples are increasingly ditching the traditional wedding formula. We’ll examine how this trend mirrors a societal shift towards confident self-expression, share top tips on dealing with expectations from older relatives and explore how to let go of learned behaviours from weddings you’ve been to in the past.

The rise of the unique and personalised wedding celebration

What we’re seeing at Hedsor House is a broader cultural trend towards individuality, driven by the reality of modern-day life. Many couples want to fund their own weddings to ensure they have full control over their celebrations and get to do things their way.

Over two-thirds of couples in 2023 received some money from family and/or friends to help pay for their big day, up 7% from the previous year, as nearly-weds look for financial support to plan the day of their dreams. But our couples, typically hard-working professionals, are still paying for the bulk of the cost of their weddings, giving them more control over the design and experience. Plus, with increased representation and access to diverse wedding styles, inspiration is everywhere, whether you’re planning a same-sex wedding, a wedding after having children, or a fusion wedding that combines different beliefs.

Same-sex celebrations and multicultural weddings

One of the most beautiful evolutions in modern weddings is the rise of same-sex celebrations. As societal views shift, more and more couples can express their commitment in ways that were unimaginable just a few decades ago. These weddings are vibrant expressions of personality and partnership, filled with joy, creativity and a celebration of love in all its forms, inspiring others to embrace authenticity on their big day.

This is also true of multicultural weddings. Couples are embracing their diverse backgrounds and heritages, blending traditions and creating unique celebrations that honour their families and tell their love story in a truly personal way.

How to break free from the cookie-cutter approach to weddings

While weddings are steeped in tradition, many of these customs have become outdated and fail to reflect the diverse and inclusive nature of modern couples, making it perfectly acceptable to personalise your celebration and reject the traditions that don’t resonate with you.

There has been a noticeable rise in weddings that break all the rules. Want to walk down the aisle wearing Star Wars costumes? We’ve made that happen. Drag celebrant? We’ve got one on our Preferred Supplier List. Dreaming of a vibrant bridal lehenga, used extensively in weddings across the Indian subcontinent, instead of a white gown? Absolutely. Feel like skipping the bouquet toss (only one in 10 couples do it anyway, according to Hitched)? No problem. How about a Pagan broom-jumping ceremony? We’ve made that happen, too.

There are so many ways couples are flipping the script when it comes to creating their dream wedding. Inspired by the joy of helping couples bring these gloriously multicultural expressions of love to life, we’ve gathered some of the most common traditions being replaced or modernised.

7 Modern wedding ideas for couples dreaming of breaking tradition

1 First looks

This is when couples share an intimate moment before the ceremony, capturing those raw emotions on camera. While tradition dictates that couples shouldn’t see each other before the ceremony (cue the superstitions), having a “first look” offers a chance to connect, calm those pre-wedding jitters and capture some truly stunning photos.

2 Personalised vows

Forget the generic scripts: people are increasingly speaking from the heart and sharing promises that truly resonate. This is your chance to bare your soul, express your deepest feelings and make promises that reflect your unique journey as a couple.

3 Rethinking attire

From colourful suits to themed costumes, anything goes. It’s about expressing your style. While the iconic white dress is steeped in tradition, symbolising purity and once representing wealth, its widespread adoption as a bridal tradition is a surprisingly recent phenomenon. It only became popular after Queen Victoria’s 1840 wedding. Before that, brides simply wore their best outfit, regardless of colour.

4 Unusual ceremonies

Weddings are a beautiful tapestry of traditions, with each culture and religion weaving in its unique threads. But who says you have to follow the norm? People are embracing lesser-known customs, from fire ceremonies and handfasting to tree planting and bespoke rituals; it’s all about creating a ceremony that truly reflects your unique love story.

5 Goodbye gender roles

Modern weddings are turning tradition on its head when it comes to gender roles. Bridesmaids are delivering powerful speeches, grooms are shedding a tear as their best woman raises a toast and flower men are adding a touch of whimsy to the procession. Forget about who should do what – couples are choosing roles based on personality and connection, not outdated gender norms. Who says the bride’s father has to walk her down the aisle? Why not have both parents, a beloved sibling or even a cherished friend do the honours?

6 Embracing tech

From live streaming to interactive guest books, technology is enhancing the guest experience and is quickly becoming a way for couples to get very creative on their big day. Some tech trends to look out for in 2025 include using QR codes for guests to upload photos; laser shows; silent discos; 360° photo booths and GIF stations; and 3D-printed cake toppers. The only thing holding you back is your imagination.

7 Lawn games and cocktail hour

Creating a relaxed and fun atmosphere for guests to mingle and celebrate can really add a touch of glamour. Whether it’s a game of giant Jenga, boules or even rounders, we’re seeing people turning away from formal, stuffy occasions to create genuine laugh-out-loud moments. Cocktail hour is another relatively new wedding trend, marking the transition from heartfelt ceremony to full-on party mode, offering guests a chance to mingle enjoy delicious bites and raise a toast to the happy couple in a relaxed and festive atmosphere.