Family weddings: tying the knot with tiny tots in tow

Modern weddings are defined by creativity and individuality: think unconventional venues, humanist ceremonies, shared dining experiences and even portable pizza ovens. But one increasingly common feature stands out: celebrating alongside your children, whether from your current relationship or a previous one.

For some couples, this can feel like the perfect storm – balancing the joy of the day with the pressures of hosting, all while trying to claim a moment in the spotlight. And let’s face it: children rarely enjoy being sidelined. So how do you create an unforgettable celebration where you can truly savour the moment while seamlessly including your little ones in the festivities?

Welcome to the evolving world of modern weddings [insert link to What defines a modern wedding blog], where love stories include not just partners but their children, too. Once reserved for adults-only soirées, today’s celebrations are increasingly family-centric, with couples joyfully embracing the presence of their children on their big day.

Post-baby nuptials hold a unique poignancy – a blend of love, commitment and family – but they also bring their share of logistical challenges. If you’re a parent or blended family preparing to say “I do” with a toddler in tow, this guide is designed for you. Here we explore why family-focused celebrations are on the rise and how to craft a family wedding that’s as heartwarming as it is elegant.

Why family weddings are increasingly popular

“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage”, right? Not quite. Couples who marry after having children could in fact be seen as the real traditionalists. Historically, the UK has had a longstanding culture of informal “marriages” recognised by the community. If you cohabited or had children together, you were as good as married in society’s eyes. It wasn’t until the Hardwicke Marriage Act of 1753 that marriage became a legal institution and unmarried couples faced stigma. 

This is in stark contrast to the “golden age” of marriage in the 1960s and 1970s, when the institution was at its peak. Marriage was often a passport to adulthood – a ticket to sexual freedom and cohabitation, when the average age to marry was just 21 for women and 23 for men, a far cry from today’s norms. 

These days, life doesn’t always follow the last few centuries’ well-trodden path. In recent years, there’s been a notable trend of couples postponing marriage until after they’ve started a family. Data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) highlights this shift: the average age for a woman to have her first child is 28, while her first marriage now happens at just over 30.

So what’s causing the delay? We’ve found that it often arises from the realities of modern life, where the choice to prioritise family is deeply grounded in practicality. With couples choosing to live together before tying the knot – in 2022, more than nine in 10 couples who married in the UK were living together before the wedding – and prioritising buying a property, coupled with ticking biological clocks and life’s unpredictable twists and turns like second marriages, it’s increasingly common for family planning to come before the wedding bells. Tradition may set the stage, but modern love stories are rewriting the script.

For some couples in their late thirties, for example, the pressure is palpable: juggling careers and financial priorities like buying a home together often leaves little room for planning a wedding. Fertility concerns often take precedence, with couples wanting to ensure they have the energy to enjoy parenting while they’re still young. Meanwhile, weddings – once considered the hallmark of commitment – become a future milestone, planned once life feels a little less chaotic and the financial strain eases.

So, what do family weddings mean now?

Today, cohabitation and having children outside of marriage are widely accepted, shifting the purpose of weddings. For many couples, having a child represents the ultimate commitment to a partner – a shared life they’ve created and are responsible for raising together. Tying the knot isn’t just about a legal union; it’s a celebration of the family they’ve already built as well as the wider family. It’s less about conformity and more about making a public declaration of love and commitment, solidified by the joy of sharing it with their children and loved ones. 

Gimeshi, who is Sri Lankan, had many family members fly in for the wedding, making the day even more meaningful. “I wanted our families to properly come together, because no one had met the baby at that point. It felt like a very special day, not just because we were getting married, but because everyone was seeing our baby. A wedding is one of those rare days in your life where everyone’s there. All the people you close this to are just in one room. Everyone was finally coming together.”

This rise in family-centric weddings reflects a broader trend toward inclusivity. Children are being woven into the fabric of the day – as flower girls, ring bearers, or simply cherished guests. Including children in your celebration often enhances the experience, adding spontaneity, laughter, and heartwarming moments. From toddlers dancing with wild abandon to their awe-struck expressions during the ceremony, their presence can make the day even more memorable.

Gimeshi, whose wedding included several little ones, shares her perspective: “We did have a couple more babies at the wedding, which some people might say is a bit much. And I completely understand that. But for us, I think it just made it more special. James’s cousin’s babies were there as well as Lily, and honestly, I loved having them there. It just seemed like more of a community.”

This sentiment highlights how embracing family and community in all its forms can transform a wedding into a truly inclusive and joyous occasion. Plus, couples who marry after starting a family often report feeling more relaxed about their big day. With the pressure of “perfect” first milestones behind them, the focus shifts to celebrating love and togetherness.

11 ways to balance stylish sophistication with family fun

A wedding day becomes even more poignant when your child is part of the celebration. It’s a rare and joyful moment – a chance for family and friends, often scattered across the globe, to come together in one place. 

Of course, including children in your big day brings a few logistical puzzles. How do you keep little ones entertained, avoid overtired meltdowns and ensure the adults can still revel in the glamour? The key to a successful family wedding is thoughtful planning. At Hedsor House, we believe that family-friendly wedding venues need not compromise on elegance or fun. Instead, they’re spaces to curate a celebration that feels warm, inclusive and utterly enchanting.  

Our team goes beyond the basics to ensure everyone is cared for. With expansive grounds and versatile rooms, we offer stylish, luxurious spaces for adults to mingle and children to play. From opulent dining experiences to bespoke entertainment, we craft a seamless celebration that bridges the needs of all generations. Here are some tips on creating an elegant event that feels joyful for all without descending into chaos! 

1 Include your child from the very beginning

You can start including your child in your wedding from the very beginning. Consider featuring your baby in your engagement photos or capturing pregnancy or infant moments to display at your reception. This helps integrate your child into the wedding story from the start, making them a key part of your celebrations.

Get creative with your wedding announcements by including your child in your save-the-dates or invitations. You could even play with the wording to make it seem like the invitation is coming from all of you, adding a personal touch that reflects your family.

2 Get support from close friends and family for childcare

For couples with newborns, having a strong support system can make all the difference when planning and enjoying your wedding day. Friends and family can step in to help with childcare, allowing you to focus on the celebration without added stress.

Gimeshi and James relied on their loved ones. “Honestly, I got very lucky with my family, because if I didn’t have them, I don’t think I would have been able to pull it off!” laughs Gimeshi. “My mum had my routine down with the baby. My parents actually had Lily in their room the night before so I could get some sleep. And that week she decided to sleep – we got really, really lucky, because she wasn’t doing that before!”

On the day itself, a close family friend stepped in to help. “I had a family friend who took over taking care of her for that day, which was insanely helpful, because I knew I couldn’t have done it and been doing all the other things that I needed to do,” explains Gimeshi.

3 Brief everyone

Choosing a reliable and well-organised venue like Hedsor is key when planning a family wedding. Not only will a venue experienced in hosting family-centred events help ensure every detail is considered, but they can also provide thoughtful accommodations for your little one. “In the lead-up to the wedding, there were a lot of emails and phone calls from Hedsor just making sure that everything was set, but also that there was a plan for the baby on the day, which I thought was really considerate,” explains Gimeshi. “When we got to the venue, everyone just seemed so nice, and they were so on it. That was the thing. It was so incredibly organised.”

Equally important is briefing your support network to ensure the day runs smoothly. “Pick a few people that you’re very close to who know the baby quite well at that point to really help you out on the day, because it makes a massive difference,” Gimeshi advises. “And make sure they know where everything is, like your supplies, because the last thing you want is someone continually coming back to you and being like, where’s this? Where’s that?”

With the right venue and well-prepared helpers, you can enjoy your day knowing that both you and your child are in good hands.

4 Consider your breastfeeding needs

For breastfeeding parents, planning ahead can make all the difference in ensuring a stress-free wedding day. From having a private space for pumping to access to proper storage, it’s essential to prioritise your needs for both comfort and convenience.

“If you’re pumping, you need a fridge,” shares Gimeshi. “It seems stupid to talk about a fridge, but the fridge was very important! If you have any stores of breast milk or anything that you’re bringing with you. At Hedsor, the bridal suite had a fridge which was perfect to store my supply of breast milk.”

5 Hire a nanny or babysitter to make your day stress-free

One of the best ways to ensure your little one enjoys your wedding day as much as you do is by hiring a professional nanny or babysitter. This provides peace of mind knowing your child is in capable hands, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the celebration, and freeing up friends and family from the responsibility and letting them enjoy the day as guests.

At Hedsor, we can recommend experienced and trustworthy childminders, nannies or babysitters. Our team can help you find the perfect professional to suit your needs, ensuring that your little ones are cared for with the utmost attention and kindness. 

This not only gives you valuable time to pamper yourself while you get ready but also reduces stress about your child’s needs. Plus, you’ll be able to fully enjoy your reception and wedding night, knowing everything is under control.

6 Stick to your little one’s routine

While you’re planning your wedding day, be sure to keep your toddler’s routine in mind. Try to maintain their usual nap and meal times as much as possible, and bring along familiar comfort items like a favourite blanket or stuffed animal. By staying close to their routine, you’ll help them feel more at ease and comfortable throughout the event.

7 Think about sleeping arrangements

Having the option to stay overnight at a venue like Hedsor can make all the difference, especially when you have a young child. Being able to settle in without the stress of packing up and moving everything after the wedding allows you to focus on enjoying the day and evening. 

“One of the main things Hedsor helped with was sleeping arrangements,” says Gimeshi. “As soon as I’d arrived at the venue on my wedding morning, our wedding coordinator asked me straight about where the cot needed to go. It was a massive bonus that you could stay over in the venue, especially with the baby. You don’t want to think about moving everything straight after you’ve got married. The staff just continually kept checking on me and baby to make sure we were OK, which was so nice.”

Staying at the venue also means you can share special moments with your bridal party, both before and after the wedding. “We had 127 guests at our wedding, and our bridal party slept over,” Gimeshi adds. “Other family and friends stayed in neighbouring hotels. But it was really nice to have my bridal party there, because after the wedding, you get to go up to a cosy relaxing room upstairs, and they bring up a few drinks, and you sort of wind down.”

With thoughtful sleeping arrangements, you can enjoy both the celebration and the quiet moments with loved ones, creating a seamless and memorable experience.

8 Create a child-friendly atmosphere

A child-friendly wedding environment will make your little one feel included, and it will also be appreciated by your guests with children. Our team can also help set up a designated family area where children can relax, play and unwind. For moments when the music gets loud or the excitement becomes overwhelming, we can prepare a quiet room complete with comfortable seating, a TV and snacks to help them decompress.

We’ll also work with you to ensure thoughtful touches like child-friendly food options and child-sized cutlery to keep younger guests happy during the meal, plenty of nappy-changing facilities and spaces where families can feel at ease. 

9 Provide fun and games

Weddings can be long, so it’s essential to keep toddlers and children of all ages entertained. At Hedsor, we make planning for your youngest guests effortless by recommending children’s entertainers and creating a truly child-friendly venue. From setting up engaging activities to designing cosy play areas, we ensure kids are entertained and happy throughout the day.

Thoughtfully curated goody bags, adventurous treasure hunts and exciting outdoor play zones provide endless fun. Imagine little ones exploring the expansive grounds, giggling as they cuddle adorable toy Hedsor Highland cows, or diving into creative activities tailored just for them. 

10 Incorporate your child into the celebration

Your little one is a big part of your life, so why not include them in the ceremony? Whether it’s walking down the aisle as a flower girl or ring bearer or taking part in the ceremony in another way, involving your child in the celebration will create lasting memories. They’ll feel special, and it will add an extra layer of joy to your big day.

“It felt weird not including Lily, especially in the ceremony,” shares Gimeshi. “So that’s why we decided to get one of our adult flower girls to carry her down [the aisle]. A lot of my friends hadn’t met the baby at that point, so the best time they actually saw her was when she was carried down the aisle. I wish I could have seen everyone’s reaction when she came down – it must have been so special—but I came down the aisle right after her!”

Consider incorporating your child into your vows. You could even have them say a few words or, as Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian did, mention them directly in your vows. This not only celebrates your commitment to your partner but also acknowledges your new role as parents.

For families with older children or stepchildren, a blended family sand ceremony is a heartfelt way to symbolise unity. In this tradition, each family member pours a different colour of sand into a shared vessel, creating a unique and vibrant pattern. The layers of sand represent the individuality of each person while blending together to form a unified whole, beautifully capturing the essence of joining lives and creating a new family bond.

11 Name a special cocktail in their honour

If you’re feeling playful, consider naming a speciality cocktail after your child. Whether it’s a fun twist on their name or a nod to something they love, it’s a lighthearted way to celebrate their presence on your special day.